20 Weirdo Shower Thoughts That'll Low Key Blow Your Mind

Author image for Ada Elder
Ada Elder
Mar 4, 2019 1:00 PM EST

Alright folks, grab your scuba gear and horde that oxygen, because we're about to get deep. If you're a human with a brain you've probably found yourself zoning out and musing about the intricacies of life. We call these shower thoughts. And here are twenty of them. 

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  • 01
    showerthoughts - Font - The best item to protect you from sasquatch attacks is a camera.
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  • 02
    showerthoughts - Text - If someone farts at a poker tournament, no one will ever know who did it.
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  • 03
    showerthoughts - Text - Touch-free soap dispensers are pretty pointless if the soap actually works.
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  • 04
    showerthoughts - Text - Every paper towel commercial reminds me that the cleanest solution is to just not have children.
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  • 05
    showerthoughts - Text - Our ultimate goal is to make as many people as sad as possible when we die.
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  • 06
    showerthoughts - Text - I don't think the inventor of Twizzlers ever actually tasted a strawberry.
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  • 07
    showerthoughts - Text - People thinkit's crazy that an elephant can be scared bya mouse, but so many people are scared of insects.
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  • 08
    showerthoughts - Text - I wonder if a murderer has ever crossed my path, contemplated murdering me, and then thought "nah".
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  • 09
    showerthoughts - Shower - I assume all skulls are male.
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  • 10
    showerthoughts - Text - I got hit by a train in my dream and it woke me up.1got knocked conscious.
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  • 11
    showerthoughts - Text - A line of paint on the road holds more authority thanI ever will.
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  • 12
    showerthoughts - Water - The speed of a clock's second hand is exactly 1 RPM.
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  • 13
    showerthoughts - Text - The reasonthe washing machine only eats one sock is because when it eats the whole pair I never notice.
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  • 14
    showerthoughts - Text - When you're criticised for being short, they're really just saying the worst thing about you is that there isn't more of you.
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  • 15
    showerthoughts - Text - When a toilet seat is cold it's horrible but when it's warm it's worse.
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  • 16
    showerthoughts - Shower - Of all the bodily functions that could be contagious, thank god it's the yawn.
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  • 17
    showerthoughts - Text - Last night myfriend asked to use a USB port to charge his cigarette, but I was using it to charge my book The future is stupid.
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  • 18
    showerthoughts - Water - Brushing your teeth is the only time you clean your skeleton
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  • 19
    showerthoughts - Font - A bed is a shelf for your body when you are not using it.
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  • 20
    showerthoughts - Text - A "lethal dose" is also a "lifetime supply"
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